I moved to San Diego on a lark about five years ago. No job, no apartment, no nothing. It was an adventure for certain!
Being the sensible and responsible adult that I am, my first order of business was to land one of those SoCal babes I’ve read so much about. So I went online. (Probably one of the more reputable sites like Craigslist.org or Whitepages.com.) I Photoshopped my head onto a picture of Brad Pitt’s body and responded to as many singles ads as I could until I got a bite. SUCCESS! A cute little blonde thing responded to me and asked what kind of car I drove. The internet works! Have trust in the internet! We chatted for a while and I finally convinced her that we ought to meet in person. I pretended to be super busy for the next week or so to seem more impressive and we made plans for two weekends from then.
It was time to get to work. I’m a big believer in impressive first dates. Go big or don’t take the girl home, I always say. During our online courtship, she had mentioned that she was a big fan of live music. (I pay attention to the details.) So I went online and performed a search for “really awesome concerts for first dates.” You’d BETTER believe that among the first search results was a website called Eventful.com. I clicked around for a few minutes and was amazed at how much stuff was going on in my local area! I went to their slick-looking concerts tab and was again blown away by how many shows were scheduled for my scheduled date’s date. And it was all right there listed in an easy-to-read format. Everything was coming together aces! Just aces!
For a first date, I wanted something fun and upbeat. Show her that I know how to have a good time and on the SECOND date, I’d show her my sensitive side with a trip to a museum or front seats at a poetry jam or something. Suddenly my biggest problem was choosing the perfect show. I saw that Barbra Streisand was performing at the Staples Center in LA. Though the idea of a combo roadtrip and concert was appealing, I wasn’t sure if Barb was the exact right theme for our night. I looked a minute longer and found a tour that was swinging through San Diego called The Hottest Chicks in Metal Tour. This was PERFECT! I’d be able to show that I can rage AND that I support females in the workplace. Double-whammy. I clicked on the orange “Buy tickets” button on the event listing page and secured a pair of tickets for the show at the Guitar Trader behind the 7-11 on Clairemont Mesa Boulevard. All that was left was to pick out my best button-up shirt that simultaneously slimmed me down and made my eyes pop.
Then catastrophe struck! Two days before my date, I received an email from Eventful alerting me that the concert had been canceled. I researched a bit and found that two of the headliners came down with an unidentified “illness.” We all know what that means. Some people just aren’t built for the road. Without including oranges in ones regular diet, even the strongest of pirates will get scurvy. I was back to square one.
I was back on Eventful’s concert tab and desperately looking for last-minute concert ideas. WHAM! Eventful delivered again! The Soul2Soul II tour – featuring country’s cutest couple Tim McGraw and Faith Hill – was swinging through town and stopping at a little venue called the Cricket Wireless Amphitheatre. But, the show was literally in two days time. No way would there be available tickets. My shaking finger clicked on the “Buy tickets” button and … SCORE! My date was not only back on track, it was on a better track! Surely this happily married couple would sing at least one lovey-dovey tune promoting snuggles on the lawn for the general admission ticket holders. I was bringing a blanket FOR SURE!
I went to pick her up. I was wearing cologne! I texted her that I was in my idling car outside. She texted back and said that she’d be right out. I watched the fuel gauge needle slowly drop from full to 3/4 tank before I saw a girl walking from her apartment building toward my car. She apologized for the wait and said that she needed to see how Kim Kardashian was going to get out of that pickle she found herself in in the latest episode. I shrugged it off – mostly because I was distracted by how little this girl resembled the photo she provided to me. Her Photoshopping skills were unmatched! But, I’m no book cover-judger, so I pointed my car toward the venue and hoped for the best.
Because my date was Keeping Up With The Kardashians for so long, the venue was already packed for the show. We had to fight our way in just to get one of the furthest-most spots in the lawn. Here was our view:
I promised my date that after the show was in full swing, we’d be able to wander a bit easier and improve our seats. She didn’t want to wait. She insisted that we try immediately. I went along with it because, who knows? Maybe this tardy, ornery little gal was the woman of my dreams! Just maybe. So we elbowed, pushes, clawed our way through the throng and got here:
Major improvement. I always liked the looks of singers’ profiles, anyways. My date wasn’t as easily pleased. She humph-ed and haw-ed and complained through the entire first half of the concert. Even during the snuggling song! The night was getting worse but I wasn’t about to give up yet. I found a great, late-night fro-yo place where I figured we could stop on the drive back. Maybe split a bowl of regular tart and talk about our hopes and dreams. Then out of nowhere, this heavyset bearded guy approached us. He said that he was one of Tim McGraw’s roadies and that he could get her backstage. I have no clue as to how this guy even found us based on our seats. But, he had a laminated I.D. card hanging around his neck – his story checked out. My date nervously giggled and him and even more nervously glanced in my direction. She said “Maybe” and the guy started to walk away. Then she turned to me and announced that she had to use the restroom.
I sat alone for the rest of the show – which really was incredible even from my far, far away seat. I got a text from my date once the honky-tonk couple sang their last encore saying that she could get back home on her own and that we’d talk soon. I figured I was officially blown off and would never hear from her again until I received this picture-text from her at 4 AM that I can only assume was sent to me as a mistake:
Regardless of how the date turned out – and how that was the saddest bowl of fro-yo ever eaten in the history of desserts – I was so impressed with Eventful’s services that I applied for a position with the company the following Monday. Ever since then, I’ve been a member of the team’s support staff and have loved every second of it!
My name is Wil. How may I help you?